RSA Events – Flourish

Martin Seligman the author of Flourish and one of the people who coined the term Positive Psychology gave a talk on the aspects of his book on the 6th July 2011 at the RSA. The room was packed and the event was podcast live. The RSA always put on great events, this one is close to my heart. I am familiar with Seligman’s work, his early research into learned helplessness led him to developing learned optimism, and evolving more of a balance within the psychology field more emphasis on flourishing rather than repairing or fixing problems.

Flourish – Can you flourish without touch?

Seligman manages to explore human flourishing without actually exploring human touch, this I find disappointing, how can people thrive or flourish without physical contact?

Martin Seligman gets a Hug at the RSA On the 2nd July in Newcastle Under Lyme some first time huggers got busy offering free hugs in the town centre. A new outpost of Guerrilla Huggers has now been formed. I travelled with a friend who has been an observer of our hugs before but had never offered free hugs. She was still unsure as to whether she would hug or not. When we arrived she decided to go for it, what happened had a significant impact on her mood and shifted her well being up a few notches.

Newcastle Under Lyme Hugs

As she was offering hugs her confidence grew, she smiled more, her stature was different and everything seemed to flow. Then an older man stopped for a hug, she duly hugged him, he said “I so miss being held, I haven’t had a hug since my wife died”. They stood chatting about the importance of touch and how to find ways of getting more platonic touch in life, it’s the one thing that everyone steers clear of and yet everyone needs touch in their life to thrive. I am writing this here to illustrate the need for positive psychology, policy makers and people in general to start recognising the obvious need to create safe touch in everyday life for people who live alone of any age, for people in care homes and hospitals to receive touch other than medical interventions. Since my friend came hugging she reports a significant shift in her own well being, she feels happier and life feels better for her, could it be that by giving hugs you increase your own well being by intention?

Man Hugs

I asked Seligman about the exclusion of touch from the notion of human flourishing, he agreed there is a need for more research into touch – you can listen here I ask it right at the end. Where does touch sit in the notion of human rights? The right to have connections with meaning and purpose not based on fear?

 

South Bank Hugs!

Hugs for Free!

A serendipitous meeting at Brick lane with the film’s director, maker and driving force Menelik Shabazz resulted in a dream come true for me, I was to be in the same room as Janet Kay the singer of, yes, my all time top favourite tune Silly Games! Not only that but to have some intelligent conversation with Menelik about the importance of touch and hugs in relation to a whole music genre that I personally love and recognise to be at the forefront of breaking down racial barriers. Wow is really an understatement!

I’m not hugging – I’ll jut take photos! Yeah – right Phil!

Saturday 9th April a gloriously sunny day, Guerrilla Huggers met at the riverside bar to discuss our hugging in support of Lovers Rock The Film. So there we are discussing the rules, boundaries and expectations of free hugs, excited and thrilled to be able to endorse an inspirational documentary, that may reignite the whole Lovers Rock scene.

 

Sunshine Hugs!

Our team Levi, Jazzy, Paula, Paula (yes that’s two Paula’s), Phil, Maren, Maymay, Livia, Kris, Phil, Kym, Imelda, Lynsey and photographer Clara Copley! All at ready!

 

People watched, hovered round the edges, smiled politely and some even came in for a hug! Young men on their bikes doing tricks came in for hugs, small children got stickers and hugs,

Pretty in Pink!

people chatted as they looked on and some of our huggers even had queues forming, young women, older women and others made a b-line for Kris! Phil “I’m not hugging” grabbed a free hugs board and started hugging, converted he has vowed to come along and do more free hugs. As I looked up I was amazed at how many people were watching, taking photos and video clips and smiling, even without being hugged they were able to get some joy from the free hugs.

 

Group Hugs!

Many photos were taken by my trusty camera, alas iPhoto crashed and I lost them, if anyone knows how to find my lost images please get in touch! Images taken on the day by Clara Copley are great and we really appreciate her support!

 

Next hugs at the Action for Happiness launch event!

The importance of touch for young people

Laughter, stress, guilt, fear, etc. are all emotions that produce chemical reactions in the body. The loving touch of a mother/guardian can produce comfort and joy. I am filled with concern when I think of the young people of today; some may never receive touch in the way I did when I was growing up. Some may only only experience the touch of an abuser, which will produce feelings of fear and anxiety. The touch of parents and their children are key to the nurturing and development of the child. A child comes into the world not being able to do anything for themselves and needs the security of a parent.

In today’s fearful society the importance of touch seems to have been lost. Teachers can no longer give a pupil a hug if they fall over in the playground. Professionals working in young people’s care home can no longer hug the children there who very often only need a cuddle to lift them up and make them feel supported.

So what will happen to these young people? I’m not sure that they will understand the benefits of platonic touch, the reassurance of someone showing they care. Statistics show that 1 in 3 girls will get pregnant within their first year of leaving care. For me its seems like this may have a lot to do with a lack of touch, and a misguided truth around physical affection.

Early research from Maslow’s hierarchy shows the importance of security in the well being and development of humans. It can also be see from the instances of neglected children, the terrible affects of not being touched and nurtured as a youngster. The same is also shown with doctor and patient; During sickness or illness, the doctor is like a surrogate parent. The belief and trust we have in the doctor is transmitted and received by touch. One knows this from the sugar pill and medicine experiments. Some people are healed by the sugar pill just like the medicine. It was the belief in the power of the pill that actually healed. Just by the doctor touching us and telling us we will be fine goes a long way in the healing process.

So before we are all lost in the land of no contact and the madness, as common sense slips out the door … give someone a hug today!

 

© guerrilla hugs 2011